Monday, February 4, 2008

A Consumasaurus lurks around every corner

Photo by John Robertson, courtesy of art.com

I haven’t quite gotten over my 4th grade obsession of dinosaurs, because of this complex; I name everything with the suffix of “asaurus.”

Consumasaurus – those who consume too many resources and are therefore paving the path toward their own self-extinction

I personally want to trample every greedy Consumasaurus that crosses my path. So, if you find yourself feeling threatened, completely baffled or intimidated, wondering if you’re going to get trampled, here’s a checklist of Consumasaurus traits. (Jeff Foxworthy if you’re out there, please don’t sue me, this is original content)

You might be a Consumasaurus if:
1. You leave the water running while brushing your teeth
2. You throw away scraps of food and all other compost materials
3. You use an unhealthy amount of toilet paper
4. You drive your vehicle instead of walking distances less than 1 mile
5. You eat sausage for breakfast, a hamburger for lunch, and stake for dinner (humans are omnivores…did you forget?)
6. You don’t recycle. Plain and simple
7. You water your lawn more than 5 months out of the year
8. You clean with paper towels or other disposable items (wash clothes, rags and sponges can be cleaned and reused)
9. You throw material items instead of fixing them for further use
10. You stomp around like an angry dinosaur criticizing “hippies” “tree huggers” “liberals” and “environmentalists” who fight to save the environment (that means your environment too Consumasaurus)

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